Scroll Button And The Lappie

I know it is awful of me but if I could be paid money to provide sarcastic responses to people's stupid or badly worded questions, I would be a happy, satisfied and productive worker indeed. So strong is my desire to mock the stupid I often have to take a quick walk or go have a coffee before responding to some of the emails I receive in my travels.

This constant internal struggle has been truly tested these past few weeks as I have been selling off some of my brother's stuff on TradeMe (yessss, with permission).

I just received the following question on an auction for a Dungeons and Dragon's handbook:

Any writing, stains, tears or creases?

Sigh.

"Yes a little bit of writing but it could only be called spasmodic at best, nothing really significant but you might like it. You do see occasional tears but only usually once a month or when I happen across Extreme Makeover: Home Edition while channel surfing. Absolutely no stains however, I don't colour my hair or use fake tan...I'm assuming you don't count freckles or lip gloss?
A few creases here and there, as you'd expect at my age however given I've been kept out of the sun and being a non smoker, not as many as you see in other comparable products.

Oh, you mean the book?

Besides a small dent on the front cover it all in great condition...although it does have a fairly distinctive odour... If I had to describe it, I would say a little musty with a hint of geek."

What Do You Mean "The Bottle Room"?....Oh.

I have lost count of the number of ways I've tried to start off this posting. I want to describe what you are about to to see here but nothing really covers it adequately.

On my shortlist were:

1. "It is a rare yet satisfying occasion that I come across someone crazier than I am...."

2. "Whatever you might say, you have to admire the focus of these folks..."

3. "I apologise in advance to those using dial up..."

4. "Umm...obsess much?..."

But I am just going to go with:

Jack might 'Live Here' but Sanity is 'Gone No Address'

NOTE - This is not my house!

And my favourite piece in the collection, just because it seems such an incongruity....