On Thursday night S and I went out to dinner with her friends J and D. When I first met them 18 months ago it was made fairly clear that D didn't really like me based on something about my appearance and during their time in New Zealand we never socialised as a group again. However since they are now returning to the UK, a farewell dinner was arranged and I decided a meal at Restaurant 88 made it worth a trip out.
When we arrived J greeted S and I with fond hellos and D said hello to S.....just to S. After a brief and awkward moment where I thought perhaps she hadn't recognised me I said pointedly "Uh, hi Des." and was rewarded with a quiet grunt of hello.
And that was the most engaged D would be with me for the rest of the night.
I am not exaggerating even a little bit when I say D pretended I wasn't there at the table the entire night. I have to give her some credit for achieving this given she was ignoring 25% of the dinner party. Even more so since I was sitting opposite her which meant she had to follow any conversation between S and J like a tennis match as to prevent any chance of looking in my direction. She also managed to stop and stifle laughing at any of my jokes by pursing her lips till they turned sorta blueish.
This game became quite tiresome about half an hour into the event so I stopped engaging in the conversation and let my mind wonder. I started to have an existential moment and wondered if I was really sitting there at the table. Perhaps D was ignoring me because I simply wasn't there, perhaps I existed only because S believed I was there. My mind raced back to my first year Philosophy credit filler course and then to the movie The Sixth Sense.
And then I realised she was just an emotionally retarded uber bitch.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Mother Would Be Happy
For anyone who saw the documentary on 20/20 last Thursday night, you will know exactly what I mean when I summarise the programme in a single word: yeeeheheheeeuuuugh. For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, it was a documentary on life sized silicon dolls. According to one of the happy punters these 'love dolls' are apparently much better than 'organics'.
The teaser ads during the week had me hooked and hanging out for the full show when I noticed details such as the fact that the eyebrows of one of the guy's dolls were nearly worn off. This begs the inevitable question - what action would cause such wear?? I repeat: yeeeheheheeeuuuugh.
During the show one of the owners had to send his doll in for some repairs. The camera followed the repair guy as he began running through the work required on the doll then abruptly cuts to him throwing a piece of mangled pink silicon on the bench and exclaiming "Agh. I've run out vaginas" in the same tone you'd expect from an electrician who had just run out of fuses in the middle of a job. You know...a little annoyed but quite matter of fact. In the last week I've been trying to see whether this statement has universal application and appeal outside of this guys's life but I am just getting odd looks, rather than the nods of 'been there honey' I was hoping for.
Fascinated with a side of horrified by the documentary, I went online to do some research on these silicon dolls. The site was alarming as a whole but answered the burning question of whether they make male dolls as well. Indeed they do but I take it from the position of the male dolls in the advertising pictures they are not made in the majority for women. It also became clear that the featured male doll has more than a passing resemblance to Gary Sinese and that it would be a long while before I could watch any of his movies again. Thinking nothing would top the drop down options for customising dudedoll's appendages (XS, S, M, L, XL and Limp) (!!) I visited the Frequently Asked Questions page.
Now, for a question to make it to the FAQ page, I think it would be fair to assume that question had been asked more than say, 5 or 6 times? Questions such as can you get hermaphrodite dolls, how hard can I pull the nipples, can the dolls fingers close and can you make a custom doll from a photo, were disturbing enough but the highlight would have to be can I buy a full body silicone female skin suit?
Join me in saying.....yeeeheheheeeuuuugh.
The teaser ads during the week had me hooked and hanging out for the full show when I noticed details such as the fact that the eyebrows of one of the guy's dolls were nearly worn off. This begs the inevitable question - what action would cause such wear?? I repeat: yeeeheheheeeuuuugh.
During the show one of the owners had to send his doll in for some repairs. The camera followed the repair guy as he began running through the work required on the doll then abruptly cuts to him throwing a piece of mangled pink silicon on the bench and exclaiming "Agh. I've run out vaginas" in the same tone you'd expect from an electrician who had just run out of fuses in the middle of a job. You know...a little annoyed but quite matter of fact. In the last week I've been trying to see whether this statement has universal application and appeal outside of this guys's life but I am just getting odd looks, rather than the nods of 'been there honey' I was hoping for.
Fascinated with a side of horrified by the documentary, I went online to do some research on these silicon dolls. The site was alarming as a whole but answered the burning question of whether they make male dolls as well. Indeed they do but I take it from the position of the male dolls in the advertising pictures they are not made in the majority for women. It also became clear that the featured male doll has more than a passing resemblance to Gary Sinese and that it would be a long while before I could watch any of his movies again. Thinking nothing would top the drop down options for customising dudedoll's appendages (XS, S, M, L, XL and Limp) (!!) I visited the Frequently Asked Questions page.
Now, for a question to make it to the FAQ page, I think it would be fair to assume that question had been asked more than say, 5 or 6 times? Questions such as can you get hermaphrodite dolls, how hard can I pull the nipples, can the dolls fingers close and can you make a custom doll from a photo, were disturbing enough but the highlight would have to be can I buy a full body silicone female skin suit?
Join me in saying.....yeeeheheheeeuuuugh.
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