Sunday, November 02, 2008

Please Check Your Suspension of Disbelief At The Door

I very much enjoy playing video games, but as I was waiting at the bus stop the other day and mentally noting strategically important sniper positions. I couldn't help but wonder if the number of first person shooter games I play has any sort impact on me and my everyday life.
There must be others out there like me who recognise the following behaviours and don't think them unusual?
  • In movies when the character attempts to fire their gun but has an empty clip, you can't help but mutter 'dumbarse' under your breath at them, for not counting rounds.

  • Despite having never seen or even touched a real gun you can't help but correct friends and family on any inaccurate miming of weapon use.

  • In spy type movies it takes all your will power to not criticise characters if they do something you consider amateurish.

  • You no longer walk sideways - you strafe.

  • You no longer head someone off - you flank them.

  • You look left, right and up when entering a room.
  • You think in an emergency you could probably navigate your way in or out of the building you work in, via the air conditioning vents.

  • You can't help but see the resemblance between a whole uncooked chicken and a headcrab.
  • Little girls singing nursery rhymes is closer to bone chilling than cute on the nice/horror continuum.

  • When you sit at your keyboard your fingers naturally sit on WSAD and the Shift key, not JKL and FDS.

  • Entering a toilet where there is a flickering fluorescent light gives you the uber wiggins and you'll need to push the door of any empty stalls completely open before you can do anything.

  • Head shot or head home - you know it's the only way to be sure.

  • You can't shake the feeling that turning the likes of these will result in great and favourable things for you: