So.......Yeah........sobriety totally sucks.
I'm not feeling any healthier and I look like hell, but I have to admit the Wagon has given me flash of inventive inspiration.
Without that lovely spinning and/or tumbling feeling one gets after climbing into bed after 4(ish) bourbons, I am having trouble getting off to sleep. As I was lying awake again last night I came up an idea for a product which might just make me my millions.
You'll see my first rough drawing to the left. It is made of a soft fabric like polar fleece or flannel and is basically a human sized bag filled with lightweight plastic beans (not polystyrene since I have an intense and irrational phobia of that particular substance... Urgh....just typing about it makes my teeth itch...waaaarrgghhh)
Ahem. Anyways. It is designed for people who don't normallyor currently share a bed with someone else and slips in behind them as a surrogate Big Spoon. You'll see it has concave curves for your upper back, butt and feet and convex curves for the small of your back and the back of your knees. I haven't drawn it in here but it will have an optional arm-like attachment which you can have draped over or tucked underneath you.
The deluxe edition would have built in electronics which would simulate a heart beat that you'd feel around the upper back area and have warming coils through the middle and through the feet area.
I haven't decided yet whether I'll call it "Just Bean'ing There" or "The Serving Spoon"
9 comments:
Please use order number 6969 for my order of 1 of in medium. Ta jw
And your colour preference sir?
What happens when you roll over? Or will you have a velcro strap for those situations? What if your rolling over, and get stuck on your back and all you can do is rock yourself back to sleep or flail your legs wildly like a bug stuck on its back? *deep breaths*
Okay, feeling less claustrophobic now....
That's a very good point... I think a velcro strap sounds potentially dangerous (although highly amusing for the responding paramedics).
The Serving Spoon will be light enough to move across you during the night and the straight backbone of plastic will mean it won't get all crumbled and outta shape.
I also want to say a big thanks to you sweet uber_reader for making my polystyrene phobia seem less freaky.... ;)
Oh and Nem...if you're reading...I did that drawing in Word too. HA!
I will buy one. I might buy two. I am freaky like that.
If you bought two you wouldn't have to worry about turning over in bed - you'll always be the Little Spoon. Good thinking Mist1.
two would totally be suffocating - death by spoonage, not very cool really is it?
don't they make these things to stop babies from rolling in their sleep?
yay for word!! sheesh ....
I'd like mine in black......jw
Post a Comment