This morning I got a kindly SMS reminder from my cellphone TelCo that my account balance had just dropped below $5. As I do every time I receive such a message I dutifully dialed 777 and listened to the 2 minutes of promotional material that is always significantly louder than the rest of the following automated top up menu.
Once you've got past the promotional spiel the process normally is:
Step 1: Press 2 to top up
Step 2: Press 2 to top up by prepay or credit card
Step 3: Press 1 to top up by credit card
(Transferred to a new menu)
Step 4: Press 1 to top up by credit card
Step 5: Enter your phone number
Step 6: Enter your 4 digit pin
Step 7: Enter the last 4 digits of your credit card
Step 8: Enter the amount you wish to pay
Step 9: Press 1 to confirm that amount
Wait for confirmation
Hang up
Not what I'd call a streamlined process so you can imagine my joy when, after the unpleasantly loud promotional speech, the robot lady told me that my TelCo had made some 'exciting new changes' to their automated menu to make it easier to use.
At first listen it seemed that this streamlining involved the radical measure of removing Step 4 however as I progressed further through the menu I found the other change they had made - they had changed my pin number and not advised me of the new code. I guess I'd classify this as exciting.
The trusty pin I've been using for the last 2 years had suddenly become invalid. Not trusting my caffeine influenced dialing fingers I hung up and tried again. Adjust volume, sit through promo menu, adjust volume back, move through repetitive menu selections and I find that after two unsuccessful pin entry attempts you are blocked from trying again.
Alrighty, I need Customer Services however there is no escape from this menu. I hang up, dial, adjust volume, sit through obnoxious promo menu, adjust volume, move through insanely repetitive menu selections.
I get through to the credit card menu again waiting for the guy to tell me which button to press to get assistance but he wants my phone number and my pin before I can move forward. Ummm no can do buddy. Ok, perhaps I need to get help via the last menu. No way to go back. Hang up, dial, adjust volume, sit through repugnant promo dribble, adjust volume, move through retarded menu selections.
No help on the previous menu. Will try the main menu. No way to go back. Hang up, dial, adjust volume, sit through maddening promo crap, adjust volume, move through idiotic menu selections.
No help available on main menu. In frustration I go through to the 'let me spend more money with you' menu selection to try and get a human being but I'm told the phone lines are overloaded and that Robo bitch tells me to try again later and disconnects me.
Now seeing everything in a vaguely red tint I go to the TelCo website to try and get some assistance. The only FAQs they have relating to credit card top ups direct me to call 777 for assistance. I realise I am developing a facial tic.
Determined I attempt to submit an email help request but find that I need to enter my pin in order to use this feature. My facial tic has now evolved into a full shoulder movement, accompanied with the occasional kicking of my foot.
With spirit nearly broken, I decide to just use the website payment gateway. I find that you need to Register for this service and the turnaround on confirming a new account is 15 working days. In addition to my violent, full body tics I start to experience severe Terrets.
I post a strongly worded 'feedback' email outlining my dilemma and requesting someone contact me for assistance. Within 10 minutes I receive an email back with an automated message saying that due to excessive demand, there is a 7-10 working day turnaround on all emails and that I should contact 777 for urgent assistance.
Blinding uber rage followed by shortness of breath and a sharp pain in my shoulder.....
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8 comments:
wow, that sucks!
they must have hired only the least qualified brain dead people to develop and run that system.
maybe some muscle relaxants can reduce the tic-ing? ;o)
good luck with that. is there another company you can go with instead? that would show the bastards.
Sadly in NZ there is only one other TelCo to choose from and I suspect they'll be equally as evil. They have been around longer in fact so perhaps even more diabolical.
I intend to indulge in a significant amount of 'muscle relaxant' as soon as I get home, don't you worry ;)
Banging my head on my desk. I hate stuff like that.
Hah! I know which TelCo you're talking about - and let me tell you something for free...
In comparison to the customer service the UK branch of the same TelCo offers - the NZ branch is positively fantastic.
What does that tell you? It tells you that if the NZ one makes it necessary to sedate yourself, then using the UK one would lead to a murderous rampage.
Trust me Meredith... stay away from this one... it will only lead to bad things.
ahh, thats funny - it was happening to me the other day when a stern warning i gave apparantly went unnoticed. Almost laughed at. uber_sad :-( but you posted again!
Awww uber_reader! I did take your warning seriously but I had nothing to write about. Consider this post dedicated to you :)
Ok, now this is just awesome. I finally got a response from my TelCo and the not only did they start off by saying:
"Dear Meredith
Thank you for your email.
Dear
Thank you for your email. "
They then proceeded to tell me all about their Plans and to call 777 for further information.
Ahahahahahaaaa
Pain in your shoulder, huh? Perhaps the whole shoulder thing is actually a buried half-formed and rage-filled alternate Meredith! Whenever your rage reaches uber level, she comes close to the surface.
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