In my final year of college (New Zealand equivalent of high school) our Dean was this very tall, very thin and indescribably intimidating woman of indeterminate age.
Now don't get me wrong - In general I liked the woman. She was funny and for the most part empowering....she was just a complete nutbar.
As an English teacher who refused to acknowledge students from any other year ("You'll become human once you're in seventh form Puppy"), she only taught a few classes a week. I imagine the rest of her time was spent scaring the younger students, bullying other students into attending their end of year ball, bleaching her hair platinum blonde, putting at least five gold rings on everyone of her fingers and talking girls for one of her 'walks'. I guess that is why she called everyone Puppy....that and I suspect she was bad at names.
A 'walk' involved a brisk trip around the block, the length of the route determined by how messed up Ms P thought you were.
While other girls were taken for such 'walks' because of their recent emotional breakdown in class, a messy parental divorce, a rumoured abortion and/or detox from their cocaine addiction....I was pulled out of class to go for a 'walk' regarding my "excessive cynicism"
Pah. Typical.
As I trotted alongside Ms P to keep up with her impressively long stride given her high heels and long skirt, I was forced to explain why I appeared to be so cynical. Rather than tell her the truth about the emotional toll of being a fat, ugly kid with a kooky sense of humour at a white-bread school, I formed an explanation which has since become my theory on life.
Being an Optimist only leads to disappointment.
As a Pessimist you always think the worst is going to happen. If it does, not only were you expecting it, you are actually proven right. If the worst doesn't happen, not only does a good thing happen, but you'll be pleasantly surprised about it. Therefore pessimism and cynicism are really the most positive positions to take in life.....
Therefore I never had to go on another 'walk'.
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2 comments:
That is the best theory I have heard. Ever. I actually had a discussion with someone about this a few weeks ago, stressing that being a realist (as I claim to be) was much more, well, realistic. You don't expect, and you're not expected of. Oh - and btw, College is not high-school over seas, they also have high-school and college :-)
Why thank you! It has served me well over the years.
Re college/high school...the key word in that sentence is equivalent :-)
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