The Kurt Neilsen lookalike down the hall from my office is now on his third and final strike.
About an hour ago he came running into my office with a pottle of yoghurt and a metal teaspoon and before I realised what was happening he jabbed the teaspoon against the underside of my wrist. If that wasn't weird and randomly violent in itself, it wasn't any old teaspoon, nosiree...it was one that he had just heated up by running it under the boiling water dispenser in the kitchenette. While it wasn't hot enough to sear flesh off bone, there was significant pain and a very clear teaspoon shaped mark on my arm a whiles after.
About 20 minutes after I gave him a mouthful of abuse and told him to fek the hell off, I got the below email from him. With stalker-like sentiment he sent me this message via a reply to an email I sent him about 6 weeks ago.
It went like this:
"hey freak,
how's the burn? i'm really sorry, i felt it before i touched you with it and thought it had cooled enough, but you're a sensitive girl :-D
speaking of sensitive, i'm sitting here crying into my yoghurt becuz you said i'm ugly and uninteresting. :-( "
Still sore and angry I replied:
Ok, first off - you kept this email?! And I'm the freak?
Secondly - when you put r and n together in that font it looks at first glance to be an ' m' and I misread your email. HR may be in touch.
Thirdly - I am a sensitive wee thing. It did hurt but it is getting better. Don't worry about it. I am reasonably forgiving.
Fourthly - how long does it take you to eat yogurt?!!
Fifthly - when did I say you were uninteresting?
Hopefully that will be a clear enough message for him to leave me alone....I don't want to have to start kicking people in the head (so soon) into this new job.
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10 comments:
Sounds like someone has a crush on you, and with sweet gestures like that, he's a keeper for sure :-P
yeah, has he pulled your hair or thrown worms at you? definately a crush.
introduce him to someone physically imposing who can rend him limb from limb :) might put him off.
There isn't enough Rophenol in the world to give him a snowflakes chance in hell.
Shudder and ewww
The silly boy already knows he is most definitely not my type and never will be, so perhaps we should go with the "he's just randomly violent" theory...
It probably would have been better not to reply to his email at all. But keep it for evidence to HR. Just in case.
This dude once let down my sisters bicycle tyres in primary school to let her know he liked her. I mean, if it works for 10 year olds, then it might work for him (?)
Must have worked on his 'girlfriend' whom he told me all about yesterday. They met online and she is coming over next month from the Philippines to met him for the first time and to start living with him.
I'm guessing her 18th Birthday is in November....
hahahahahahahaha! oh man! that is awesome! and such a romantic story to share with the grandkids "we met in a crowded chat room.... it was love at first PM" *shudder*
Thats excellent. :)
"I like you so much, I am willing to burn you with a teaspoon, then tempt you with my limited availability."
See, he is an offer for a limited time only!
Try and get a set of steak knives off him.
I wish random things like that would happen at my work. It would make my day just that bit more interesting *sobb*
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