You Sound Like You Want A Written Warning

Even though I just got over my last fluey cold I have managed to succumb to a strange new cold strain that I have named Damnevilcoldis Upsidedownae. The reason being that I started with a cough then sinus came on and now I have sneezing and an immovable headache.

Being sick again so soon hasn't done much for my emotional fortitude so it was probably a mistake that last night the IT professional I see most often and I, went through the process of installing my brand spankin' wireless router. It was going well until towards the end of the process when the setup wizard had a conniption and on its way down it took out all my previous connection settings including my IP address.

Having stupidly put this information somewhere so very safe I couldn't find it, I was forced to ring my ISP call centre.

After battling the voice recognition menu selection - which I discovered doesn't like coughing, sniffing or that "Mehhh" noise people with headcolds make without realising - I was put on hold for around 40 minutes. During which time the most obnoxious hold music ever made was played in all its tinny glory.

This all put me in a spectacularly bad mood.

When my call was finally answered a young woman answered. After reciting my customer number, name and address she asked for my date of birth. When I responded she paused for a second then she said "Really?! You sound like, 12".

It was then my time to pause while I considered possible responses to this insane commentary. I think luckily for everyone involved I wanted my internet access back slightly more than I wanted to destroy her and simply went with "I have a cold".