As I stood perplexed by the sizing and variety of products available in the pantyhose section of the supermarket last night, I began to wonder if I had perhaps missed out my copy of the "Girly Girl Guide to Being a Girl" when they were being handed out amongst my peers.
Granted my interest in sugar and spice and all things nice and pink and flowery ended about 3 weeks after my bedroom had been redecorated according to my (very pink) instructions but how do other chicks know about this stuff? Is there some sort of handbook that explains the whole deal or are there classes available from some secret society that sent out the invites while I was watching Xena?
If there are these classes I suspect they would be structured as follows:
FEM101: Basic Hair Removal Techniques (Individual Assessment)
FEM102: Advanced Hair Removal (Small Team-Based)
FEM103: High Heeled Shoe Kinetics
FEM202: Accessorising: Handbags and Jewellery
FEM203: Jimmy Who?: Shoe Variety Indentification
FEM301: Hair Colouring: Options, Processes and Disaster Recovery
FEM302: Advanced Cosmetics and Sadomasochistic Beautifying Procedures
I wonder if there are post graduate qualifications?
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5 comments:
haha, cute!
I learned what I do know by trial and error.
My mom isn't well versed in girly stuff, so I had to learn it on my own.... and no one gave me a manual either. :o)
There is no secret society. Some have mothers and sisters that are kind enough to pass on information. Most learn as they go. It would make a hilarious documentary.
Maybe I could make my millions by selling that idea as a reality TV show to Mark Burnett? Kinda like The Swan without the plastic surgery and people screaming "Oh my god, I'm so beautiful!" when they finally see their reflection.
Or maybe I should just write the Girly Girl Guide??
Haha- you couldmake a documentary trying all these different "girly" procedures and then making a recommendation.
Reminds me of watching a gay friend of mine buy a car - the salesman opened the bonnet and started telling him about overhead cams, bored out this and strengthened that ..... he put on a brave face for as long as he could then blurted -"for f**k sake I don't know what the hell you are talking about" and stormed off. We didn't buy that car.
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